if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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