If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
