i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
