then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
