just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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