i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
