butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
