i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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