Can Purell be used as lube?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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