a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
