Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
