I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's the barista slut.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
