It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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