So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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