It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
