so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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