I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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