She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am midnight drunk by noon
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
