Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
