Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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