Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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