I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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