Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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