it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
