he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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