Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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