will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
