that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So vagazzling was a success
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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