i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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