Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
