i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
