Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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