i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
