hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
