um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
