it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
