Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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