She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
