No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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