just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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