in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
