There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
