I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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