I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
