awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
