just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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