Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
