Your tits are I can't wait for
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
