with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Alive.
So much puke
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
