she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
