I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
