honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have fence marks all over my body
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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