Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
