i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
