I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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