never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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